fuck you hurt me big time

as far as youre concerned, the world revolves around you. our relationship revolves around you. you dont want to do things that troubles you, even for my sake. if you dont celebrate the things that i would like to try, you dont even want to do it for my sake. if you dont want to go a certain event with me, even when i really want you to go, you prefer to let me go dateless because it troubles you and you dont like it. you dont like me to go clubbing, but you let me go by myself without even trying for me. when i run away, you dont run after me because of your ego. every fight, its me who always ran after you. the ONE fight you ran after me was because YOU said you miss me. you dont spend time with me because of your precious sleep. but when friends invite you for a swim youll go because you dont want to destroy your precious relationship with them. youll get mad at me if i broke one of your rules, but you can break mine. whenever you make a mistake, youll say that i never said it was wrong. but when i screwed up, you said i should have figured out by myself it was wrong. you dont like me being loud because it destroys your reputation. we dont hold hands in public because of your precious reputation. we dont watch the dvds i want to watch because it bores you. even if we do, youll in the end fall asleep. you cant watch me doing my own things but ill have to watch you play your game. i cant let you be alone but you can let me be alone. see the repetition? why cant you for once see youre in the wrong instead of me screwing up, fucking up? there are so many things you did for you that i can think about and write about. but im tired, just to even think about it. i let it go by everytime you do it, feeling slightly dissapointed but i let it pass. but it has accumulated because you tend to repeat, repeat and repeat. and now it has reached its peak. and im crying just because of it. im dumb. i hate you. not as much as i love you, but trust me i do hate you. you think youre the only one with the scale of love to determine our relationship? think again. its time you let go of the super big control you have on our relationship.